We Are Not OK! We Miss Our Homecomings!! (a.k.a. Our Annual, Unofficial Friend Reunions)
We Need a Moment!
Somebody come get us! We are stuck in Zoom meetings and election hell when the only thing we really wanna be doing is walking across somebody’s campus yard in a FashionNova/PLT outfit we purchased a month ago for the sole purpose of that very stroll.
We want to grab our fish fry plate, a turkey leg, and a funnel cake to eat all at once because we know it’ll be another year before we find all of these things in one place again. We want to stop by every vendor station and window shop across all of their merchandise, only to end up purchasing an alumni shirt from one lucky merchant — if anything at all.
We want to run across people we haven’t seen in years in our mutually fly outfits and say, “Okay SIS! I see you!” We want to hit up multiple tailgates/cookouts/house parties without bringing a GOT-damn thing, and eat and drink while we trip down memory lane.
We want to hear the band play the soundtrack to our weekend. We want to go to the game and act like we care about the score, when all we really came to do was laugh with our friends, look cute, see, and be seen. That’s it. (Oh, and swag surf. We came to swag surf too.)
We want to work the magic of jamming four grown women into one bathroom as we get ready for a party every night. We want to borrow each other’s shit to set off our outfits — everything down to a roll of boob tape (cuz we don’t let each other go out looking any kind of way). We want to get no sleep because sleeping is for our beds at home.
We want to dance with our squad on the dance floors of the same clubs we used to use fake IDs to sneak into during college. We want to sing loud as hell in the Uber at 3AM on the way to the after-party food spot and make the driver uncomfortable.
We want to plan to attend the homecoming church service, but wake up on Sunday with ‘God knows my heart’ energy while we head to a homecoming boozy brunch instead.
Fall can’t even really start without all of this happening, so why we playin! We want those laughs! We want to be with our people. Want to be doing OUR shit. We miss our homecomings!!
Sigh.
I guess this sadness is to be expected, and it’s definitely ok for us to feel a bit down. Homecoming is more than just this fabulous 72-hour celebration of Blackness and HBCU-life. (Shoutout to FAMU!)
For many of us, it’s actually become our unofficial, annual friend reunion for our college crew. Despite job and life shit separating us physically, homecomings have been our time to reunite.
During homecoming, we are able to relive the best parts of college with our best people. We can experience life together in real time again. Laugh at real moments. And create new ones.
Homecoming is like a vacation for our sister circles. An annual time to let go. Rejoice. Lift each other up. Gas each other. And pour all the love we’ve physically been unable to express in person into one another.
We get to revel in our collective grown-woman-ness while stepping foot back onto the soil where we each grew into these very women. It’s these moments with our second family that make homecoming so special.
Each year, homecoming gives us the opportunity to deepen the bonds of our friendships. We add layers to them, giving the relationships more depth. With every laugh, we grow closer. With every memory re-lived, we grow more connected.
Sometimes homecoming is even an opportunity to resolve some of the old, under-the-surface issues that may still be lingering in our friendships. But no matter the experience, it is always something that strengthens the pillars of our friendships. It’s a staple in the friendship maintenance toolbox.
So what do we do this year? How do we ensure that we maintain these amazing connections when we cannot physically be in each others’ presence?
My mother always emphasizes that we have to make time for connection with our loved ones, especially when life makes connecting difficult. We have to be intentional about setting aside time to connect with those we cherish the most. Friends are no exception to this.
Although our hearts are mourning the loss of what would have been this year’s beautiful homecoming experience, I think we can still honor this space by creating moments to connect with our people. We have to create our own 2020 homecoming experiences!
While nothing can ever replace homecoming, we absolutely can try to recreate the safe space that it offers for our friendships to grow.
Although this isn’t a perfect solution, in the name of friendship, I’ll leave you with a few ideas for re-creating homecoming connection spaces with your people, and one of my favorite quotes from Oprah (my adopted 2nd mama in my mind!): “Surround yourself only with people who are going to take you higher.” Don’t let 2020 separate you from your people.
Happy Homecoming Loves.
Five Alternative Homecoming Ideas For You & Your College Crew:
- Rent an Airbnb & Create Your Own Mini Homecoming! (Self-quarantine first tho!)
- Reunite Virtually – Grab Drinks and Games & Hop on a Video Call w/ the Whole Crew! (You can never do this too many times)
- Make Group Plans to Plug Into Either Your School or Alumni’s Virtual Homecoming Events (If your school/alumni doesn’t have this, where did you even go?!! But nonetheless, you can always join ours! #rattlerforlife)
- Start a New Tradition – Create a Viral Video Together Dancing to the Unofficial Signature Song of Your Alma Mater.
- Keep it Simple – Have a Virtual Sister Circle to Check in.
