-
Why This Blog is Dedicated to My Mother
I quote my mother like the bible. Her wisdom is that sacred to me. Her outlook, that grounded. The curator of my early life, she pulled together pieces of greatness — a loving father, a peaceful home, a curiosity about life — and gave them to me as a starter kit for knowing my own worth. She’s not perfect, but her sacrifice has been. She has stepped outside of herself to be of service to the calling of motherhood in ways that leave me in awe. I am blessed to have been birthed by a giver, and at times I am unworthy of her gifts. I named this blog ‘Words…
-
Take a Break. And Don’t Feel Guilty
SO!......I took a teeny, tiny break from the blog. (Actually, a break from writing, period). Aaaaaand it was longer than I expected…*insert nervous smile emoji*.... But honestly, I have no regrets. I rested. I rejuvenated myself. And I prioritized what needed my attention. This past Mother’s Day, as I turned my attention back to my blog (and writing), I was reminded of how my mother has never made me feel guilty about resting when I needed to. Ever. In fact, she’s only encouraged it.
-
5 Gift Ideas For Your Squad From 5 Black-Women Owned Businesses
Confession. Sometimes I’m a bad friend. And before your mind starts imagining some crazy Real Housewives of Wherever scenario, it’s nothing like that. Sometimes I’m just too busy and checked out. Sometimes I’m one-sided and self-absorbed. Sometimes I’m forgetful. But other times I’m a great friend. At those times, I’m thoughtful. I’m communicative. I’m supportive. I think we all have a bit of both -- good friend and bad friend -- in us. But the goal is to make the bad friend show up less and the good one appear more often. We do that by making a habit of nurturing our friendships on a consistent basis. We are experts…
-
What Will & Aunt Viv Teach Us About Forgiveness & Owning Our Mistakes
If you’ve never debated whether light-skinned or dark-skinned Aunt Viv was the better Aunt Viv, then you didn’t go to public school in the 90s. This meaningless debate (and even more meaningless complexion descriptors) came up at least once in our lives in either a random homeroom period or while we were doing absolutely nothing in that “cool” teacher’s class (cuz damn our education!). Back then I had absolutely no idea that there was a larger battle going on behind the scenes with Will and Janet Hubert. As I grew older and began to learn of the feud, I instinctively took Will’s side and dismissed the issue as Janet being…
-
Beth is a Gem! The Top 3 Lessons We’ve Learned From Her About Family & Commitment!
Beth Pearson is like Claire Huxtable reborn. She can love up on you and tell you about yourself without missing a beat. She’s a deeply authentic representation of Black womanhood. Black motherhood. And Black wifehood. I’m not even sure how NBC found Susan Kelechi Watson. I’ve never seen her before, but she is a gem. (That Kelechi part shows up!) She brings depth to Beth Pearson in a way that transcends the script. Every subtle side eye that says more than words could dare. Every bitten lip that holds back truths that aren’t yet ripe. And every time she wraps her arms in emotional protection around Randall, we see something…
-
We Are Not OK! We Miss Our Homecomings!! (a.k.a. Our Annual, Unofficial Friend Reunions)
Somebody come get us! We are stuck in Zoom meetings and quarantine prison when all we wanna be doing is walking across somebody’s yard in a PLT outfit we purchased a month ago for the sole purpose of that very stroll. We want to grab our fish fry plate, a turkey leg, and a funnel cake to eat all at once because we know it’ll be another year before we find all of these things in one place again. We want to stop by every vendor station and window shop across all of their merchandise, only to eventually end up purchasing an alumni shirt from one lucky merchant -- if…
-
Why We Should Stop Calling People Toxic
Being called toxic is like being the boogeyman in this day and age. None of us wants that label slapped on our back. Without missing a beat, we’ll sidestep a toxic label like a Heisman trophy winner and not look back. But even quicker, we’ll play pretend quarterback, hauling the term off at whoever we think fits the bill. In the name of all things Hall Monitor, we police these streets for the toxic urchins roaming among us. They are not safe in our presence. And we don’t play about our shit.
-
How I Survived My 30-Day Detox During Quarantine!
If you’ve ever tried a detox, you know it will have you living in the bathroom. Detoxes are like Debo. When they come to town, they run shit. It’s almost impossible to live normally when you’re trying to detox. I’ve tried to detox too many times to count, and the last time, I swore that these vegans would not get me again. But here I am. Same mess, different day. They got me. Fortunately, this go-round, quarantining and social distancing helped me in a major way. The last time I detoxed, I was working a full nine-to-five, and it wasn’t pretty. (Try making oral arguments in front of a judge…
-
5 Virtual Date Ideas #ForTheCulture!
Mandatory Quarantine has forced many of us to get creative in our love lives. Gone -- at least temporarily -- are the days when we could rely on our favorite local restaurant or bar to be the backdrop to our love lives. These days, we’re all doing time for a crime we didn’t commit. But as black people, we always know how to make a way out of no way! And so the show must go on! Like any good production, the stage must be prepped, the content flawless, and a game plan in place. I’ve pulled together some of my favorite quarantine date ideas for you to try out…
-
Poor Communication 101: How Issa & Molly Got Here
Molly went so left on Sunday’s episode of Insecure, I almost pulled off my earrings and jumped through the screen for Issa. I think we all wanted to pull up, wheel Molly away, and deliver her to the nearest therapist’s office for an emergency session. Whether or not Issa was wrong to contact Molly’s man behind her back, the type of public confrontation Molly initiated is never appropriate. Period. But how did these two ‘best friends’ even get here? Two words — poor communication. I’ve been where Molly and Issa are. I’ve let issues build up without saying a word. Little jabs, here and there. Slick comments that go unchecked. Then all of…
A blog about the nuances of our relationships with others based on lessons learned from my mother.
